This comment confuses me :
It's not really an update conflict. As I said it seems that the consolidated checks the verify clause and sends back column updates.
You say it's not really an update conflict, but then go on to describe exactly how the database engine detects update conflicts, and exactly what the result of detecting an update conflict would be. What you have is an update conflict.
There isn't an easy option to disable conflict resolution because it is an integral part of SQL Remote. I can imagine a hack that might be able to turn it off, but it's not something I've ever tried or been asked to do, and I've been supporting SQL Remote since 1997 and I've been the only engineering resource for SQL Remote for roughly 10 years. I also don't want you to turn off conflict resolution, since I believe it will do more harm than good. Using a car analogy, it's like you've come into the dealership complaining that your brakes are making an unbearably loud noise when you use them, and asking the dealership to remove the brakes from your car as opposed to figuring out what is making the noise.
If you believe that messages are being applied out of order, I'd rather look into that problem. That shouldn't happen, and I'd like to see the SQL Remote logs that led you to this conclusion and see what going on.
Reg